Before your first video date: a quick setup
Video dates feel like real dates when you treat them like real dates. That means a little preparation:
- A start time, set the day before. "Whenever you're free" turns into a call while one of you is cooking.
- Headphones and a stand. A laptop on a stack of books at eye level beats a phone in one hand for two hours.
- Do not disturb on every other device. Notifications kill the mood faster than bad Wi-Fi.
- A theme. Cooking night, movie night, game night. A theme gives you something to do, not just something to say.
- Get dressed. At least from the waist up. It changes how the evening feels.
Long-distance dating across time zones
The hardest part isn't the miles, it's the clock. This rough guide helps you find the best slot for a date:
| Time difference | Best date slot | Good fit |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 3 hours | An evening for both | Dinner dates, movie nights |
| 4 to 8 hours | Your evening, their late night or your morning, their afternoon | Coffee for one, wine for the other |
| 9 to 12 hours | Your morning, their evening | Breakfast and dinner date, weekend calls |
| Over 12 hours | Weekend early mornings or late nights, taking turns | Shorter dates, more async rituals |
Tip: Rotate who stays up late or gets up early. If one person always adjusts, it starts to feel unfair, even if nobody says it out loud.
Virtual date ideas over video
These all need a shared activity, so the conversation flows on its own.
1. Cook the same recipe at the same time
- Budgetlow
- Best forfoodies
- Time1 to 2 hours
Pick a recipe together, shop separately and cook side by side on the call. Compare results, then eat together with the camera on. Easy picks: fresh pasta, tacos, a curry. Recipes from our date night dinner ideas work too.
2. Movie night with a countdown
- Budgetfree to low
- Best forany couple
- Time2 to 3 hours
Several streaming services and browser extensions have a watch-party feature that syncs playback. Without one, just count down "3, 2, 1, play" together. Keep the call open on mute or with one earbud in so you can laugh at the same moments. Need a film? Try our date night movies.
3. Order dinner for each other
- Budgetmedium
- Best forcouples in the same country
- Time1 to 2 hours
Each of you orders dinner delivered to the other's door, without saying what. Open the bags on camera. Bonus points for ordering their favorite from a place near them they've never tried.
4. The walk-and-show call
- Budgetfree
- Best forcouples who miss each other's world
- Time1 hour
Both go outside with your phones and give each other a tour: your coffee place, the bench where you call from, the weird dog in your neighborhood. Next time you visit, you'll recognize everything.
5. A quiz about each other
- Budgetfree
- Best fornewer relationships
- Time1 hour
Write ten questions about yourself ("What did I want to be at 8?", "My most-played song this month?") and take turns answering. The loser plans the next video date.
Ask your dateTemplate: Quiz date6. Play an online game together
- Budgetfree to low
- Best forplayful couples
- Time1 to 2 hours
Online chess, word games, drawing-and-guessing games, co-op video games or a virtual escape room. Something with turns works best, so you can talk in between.
7. A virtual museum tour
- Budgetfree
- Best forcurious couples
- Time1 hour
Many big museums put their collections and tours online. Share your screen, wander through a gallery together and each pick the piece you'd hang in your future home.
8. Draw each other
- Budgetfree
- Best forcreative couples
- Time1 hour
Ten minutes, paper and pen, no peeking. Hold up your portraits at the same time. The worse, the better. Keep them and stick them on your fridge.
9. A two-person book club
- Budgetlow
- Best forreaders
- Time1 hour a week
Read the same book, a few chapters a week, and meet on video to talk about it. Short novels or a story collection keep it going without homework stress.
10. Take an online class together
- Budgetfree to medium
- Best forcouples who like learning
- Time1 hour a week
A language, a dance, drawing, a cooking course. Learning at the same pace gives you something to practice on every call, and something to show off when you finally meet.
11. A dress-up dinner date
- Budgetlow to medium
- Best forromantic
- Time2 hours
Both get properly dressed, light a candle, pour a drink and eat a nice dinner "together". Agree on the same dessert. It feels a bit silly for the first five minutes, then it feels like a real date.
12. Fall asleep on the call
- Budgetfree
- Best forcouples who miss the little things
- Timehowever long
End a date by staying on the call while you both get ready for bed and drift off. It's not exciting. That's the point: it's what you'd do if you were together.
Long-distance dates by mail
Paper, packages and things you can touch. Mail takes time, especially between countries, so send early and don't promise a delivery date.
13. Open-when letters
- Budgetlow
- Best forany long-distance couple
- Timean evening to write
A stack of sealed letters, each labeled with a moment: open when you miss me, when you can't sleep, when you've had a bad day, when you need a laugh, when we've just said goodbye at the airport. Add a photo, a tea bag or a song in some of them.
14. A date in a box
- Budgetlow to medium
- Best forvideo date nights
- Timean evening
Pack a box with everything for your next video date: the same snacks you have, a candle, a card game you'll play over video, a note that says "Open on Friday at 8". You open your identical box on the call at the same time.
15. A book with notes in the margins
- Budgetlow
- Best forreaders
- Timea few weeks
Read a book you love and write in the margins: what you thought, where you laughed, why a line reminded you of them. Mail it. Next time they read, they're reading with you.
16. A postcard series from your city
- Budgetlow
- Best forany couple
- Timea few minutes a week
One postcard a week, each from a different spot in your town with a line about why it matters to you. Over time, your partner gets a map of your life without you.
17. A care package with a theme
- Budgetlow to medium
- Best forbirthdays, hard weeks
- Timean afternoon
A cozy box (socks, tea, a candle), a "local favorites" box with snacks from your region, a movie night box with popcorn and a ticket you made yourself. The theme is what makes it feel thought through.
18. A shirt that smells like you
- Budgetfree
- Best forcouples who miss each other
- Time5 minutes
Sounds odd, works wonders. Wear a T-shirt for a day, spray a little of your perfume or cologne on it, fold it into an envelope. It's a long-distance classic for a reason.
Small daily rituals that shrink the distance
Dates are the highlights. The days in between are where long distance actually happens. These take a few minutes each:
20. Morning voice notes
- Budgetfree
- Best fortime zone couples
- Time2 minutes
A short voice note for when they wake up, especially if you're asleep when they do. Hearing a voice beats reading a "good morning" text every time.
21. Look at the same moon
- Budgetfree
- Best forromantic
- Time10 minutes
On a full moon night, step outside at an agreed moment and look up while you're on the phone. Across time zones, you won't always get it at the same hour, but the moon is the same one. A stargazing app helps you find the same constellations.
22. One second a day
- Budgetfree
- Best forcouples with months apart
- Timea few seconds a day
Film one second of your day, every day, and put them together at the end of the month. Swap videos on your next date. Thirty seconds of each other's month says a lot.
23. A countdown to the next visit
- Budgetfree
- Best forevery couple
- Timeongoing
A countdown widget on both phones, or a paper chain on the wall where you rip off one link a day. Watching the number shrink is oddly comforting.
Plan the next visit like a date
The visit is the real date night of a long-distance relationship. Make it something to look forward to for weeks:
- Book the next trip before the current one ends, so you never say goodbye without a date in the calendar.
- Write a shared wishlist: food you want to eat together, places to show each other, the boring things you miss (grocery shopping, really).
- Plan one surprise per visit. Our ideas for every kind of date have plenty, and at-home date ideas are perfect for the jet-lagged first evening.
- Send it as an invite. A little story on their phone with a letter from you, the plan for the first evening and a ticket at the end. It becomes part of the countdown.
Friday, 8 pm my time, 2 pm yours. Dress code: nice shirt, pajama pants allowed. Bring a fork, I'm sending dinner 🍜
Open when you miss me. Open when you can't sleep. Open when you've had a rough day. Open when you need to laugh. Open the night before I land. Open when we've just said goodbye.
psst … this makes it easier
Turn your idea into an invite
- Scratch card, spin the wheel, quiz or secret code
- Your date picks the day and the food right away
- Free, no account, sent as a link
Celebrating a milestone apart? Our anniversary ideas include several that work over video, and the 12 months of dates gift works brilliantly as envelopes you open on a call, one each month.
Frequently asked questions
What can you do on a long-distance date?
Cook the same recipe on a video call, watch a movie with a synced countdown, play an online game, go on a walk and show each other your neighborhoods or order dinner delivered to each other's door. Add mail dates like open-when letters or a box with everything for your next call date inside.
What are good virtual date ideas?
Good virtual date ideas have a shared activity, not just talking: a cooking date, a synced movie night, a quiz about each other, a virtual museum tour, drawing each other, a two-person book club or an online class you take together. Dress up a little and set a start time like you would for a real date.
How often should long-distance couples have video dates?
There's no right number, but a fixed date night once a week is a good anchor for many couples, with shorter check-ins in between. A planned date every week beats daily calls that feel like an obligation. Agree on a rhythm that fits both schedules and time zones.
How do you date across time zones?
Find the overlap that's comfortable for both, often your evening and their morning, or weekend brunch for one and dinner for the other. Rotate who stays up late or gets up early so it's fair, and use voice notes and photos for the hours you can't share.
What can I mail my long-distance partner?
Open-when letters, a care package with a theme, a book with your notes in the margins, a T-shirt you've worn, a playlist on a card, postcards from your city or a date in a box with snacks, a candle and a game for your next video call. Mail early, as international post can take a while.
How do you make a long-distance relationship feel less distant?
Small routines help most: a good morning voice note, a shared photo album, the same song or show at the same time. Plan the next visit so there's always a date to look forward to, and celebrate small milestones even when you're apart.