What a godparent is (religious and secular)
Before you plan a cute ask, it helps to be clear about what you're asking for. The word means different things in different families.
- In church: a godparent (the formal word is sponsor) stands with the parents at the baptism or christening, makes promises on the child's behalf and agrees to support the child's faith as they grow up. Many churches take this seriously and have rules about who can do it.
- In secular families: a godparent is a trusted adult outside the parents who promises to be there for the child: birthdays, advice, a place to go when talking to their parents feels impossible. Some families call them guideparents, mentors or simply "oddparents" as a joke. There may be a naming ceremony, a party or nothing formal at all.
- In both cases: it isn't a legal role. A godparent does not automatically become a guardian. If that's what you hope for, it belongs in your will and in a separate conversation.
Most families end up somewhere in between: a church ceremony because the grandparents care about it, and a godparent chosen mostly for who they are. That's completely fine. Just say it out loud when you ask.
Godparent rules by church: check before you ask
Nothing is more awkward than asking your best friend, then hearing from the parish that they don't qualify. A quick check first saves that conversation.
| Church | Who can be a godparent | How many |
|---|---|---|
| Catholic | A Catholic aged 16 or older (the bishop can set another age) who is confirmed, has received Communion and lives the faith. Parents can't be the child's godparents. | One godparent, or one godmother and one godfather. A baptized Christian from another church can join as a Christian witness. |
| Church of England | Baptized and confirmed, though the minister can waive confirmation. Parents may be godparents if there is at least one other. | At least three, traditionally two of the same sex as the child and one of the other. One of each is accepted if three are hard to find. |
| Other churches (Orthodox, Lutheran, Methodist, Baptist and more) | Rules vary a lot, from strict to very relaxed. Some traditions don't use godparents at all. | Ask your priest or pastor. |
| No religious ceremony | Anyone you trust with the role. | As many as you like. One to three is common. |
Is your favorite person not eligible? You can still give them a meaningful role: Christian witness at a Catholic baptism, a reading at the service, a special title at the party or simply godparent in everything but the church register.
Godparent proposal ideas
A godparent proposal doesn't need to be expensive. Small and personal beats big and generic, and most of these work whether the baby is born yet or still on the way.
Ideas "from the baby"
1. A letter written by the baby
- Budgetfree
- Best forsentimental godparents
Write a short letter in your baby's voice: what they've heard about this person, why they need them and the question. Babies are allowed to be funny ("I've been told you give the best hugs and the worst advice"). Seal it in a tiny envelope.
2. A bib or onesie with the question
- Budgetlow
- Best forany godparent
A bib, onesie or tiny T-shirt printed with "Will you be my godmother?" or "Will you be my godfather?", wrapped up and handed over. It's the classic for a reason: they get to see the baby wear it later.
Tip: If the baby is already here, let them wear it when the godparent visits and wait for them to read it. The reaction is usually worth it.
3. Tiny shoes in a box
- Budgetlow
- Best forbefore the birth
A pair of baby shoes in a small box with a card: "Help me take my first steps. Will you be my godparent?" Works beautifully during pregnancy, when everything is still a little abstract.
4. A
- Budgetfree
- Best forfamilies with older kids
If there's an older sibling, let them draw the godparent and write (or dictate) the question. It includes the whole family, and it will end up on someone's fridge for years.
5. Footprint card
- Budgetfree
- Best forafter the birth
A card with the baby's footprint and the line "I'd like to follow in your footsteps. Will you be my godfather?" Ink pads for baby prints are easy to find, and it becomes a keepsake.
Small godparent proposal gifts
6. A children's book with a note inside
- Budgetlow
- Best forreaders
Pick a book you loved as a kid and write the question on the first page. Add: "Will you read this one to me?" It quietly says what you hope the role will look like.
7. A mug or glass that names the role
- Budgetlow
- Best forcoffee or wine lovers
A mug that only reveals the words "Godmother" or "Godfather" when it's empty, or a wine or cider bottle with a custom label. Practical, funny and used long after the christening.
8. A candle for the baptism
- Budgetlow
- Best forreligious families
Light plays a big part in many baptisms, and in some churches a candle is lit and given during the service. A candle with the question on the label links the ask to the day itself.
9. A box to fill over the years
- Budgetlow to medium
- Best forsentimental godparents
An empty wooden box labeled "From my godparent" with a card inside. The idea: they add a letter or a small memento every birthday, and the child opens it at 18. You're asking for a role and giving it a shape at the same time.
10. A small tree or plant
- Budgetlow
- Best forgardeners
A sapling or a potted plant with a tag: "Let's grow up together." If they have a garden, it can grow alongside the child. Pick something easy to keep alive.
11. A puzzle with the question
- Budgetlow to medium
- Best forpatient friends
A small jigsaw puzzle made from an ultrasound photo or a baby photo with the question printed across it. Keep it to around 100 pieces so the answer arrives the same evening.
12. A scratch-off card
- Budgetlow
- Best forfriends who love a surprise
Three fields to scratch: "Free babysitting? (just kidding)", "Lifetime supply of drool" and "Will you be my godparent?" Scratch-off stickers are sold in craft shops and online.
13. A frame with an empty space
- Budgetlow
- Best forany godparent
A double frame: one side with a photo of the baby, the other side empty with a note "Reserved for our first photo together." Fill it after the ceremony.
14. A godparent survival kit
- Budgetlow
- Best forpractical friends
Earplugs, a chocolate bar, a pack of wipes, a coffee voucher and a tiny instruction card: "In case of crying, sing. In case of diaper, call the parents." The question goes on the lid. Funny, useful and very honest about what's coming.
15. Cookies with the question
- Budgetlow
- Best foranyone with a sweet tooth
Bake or order a few cookies and write one letter of the question on each, or ice "Godmother?" and "Godfather?" on two big ones. Bring them on a visit and let them arrange the letters themselves.
Ideas built around a moment
16. Ask at the first visit
- Budgetfree
- Best forclose friends and family
When they come to meet the baby for the first time, put the baby in their arms and ask then. No gift needed. It's simple and it's often the one people remember most.
17. A dinner with a menu card
- Budgetlow to medium
- Best forcouples you'd ask together
Cook for the couple you'd like to ask and print a little menu. Starter, main course and for dessert: "Will you be our baby's godparents?" A good way to ask two people at once without picking who goes first.
18. A photo they have to find
- Budgetfree
- Best forplayful friends
Send a photo of the baby holding (well, lying next to) a sign with the question. For a long-distance godparent, send it at a time when you can call right after.
19. A box opened on a video call
- Budgetlow
- Best forgodparents who live far away
Mail a small package marked "open on our call", set a time and watch them unwrap it. If you're in different time zones, include a little note with good times to call.
20. A tiny story on their phone
- Budgetfree
- Best fornear or far
A link that opens into a short story told by the baby: the question, then a letter that types itself out. You can add a mini quiz first ("Who taught Mom to ride a bike?"). They answer with one tap and get a little ticket with their new role.
Ask the questionTemplate: The big question21. At a family get-together
- Budgetfree
- Best forpeople who love an audience
A birthday, a barbecue or the holidays, with everyone there. Only do this if you're sure the person will enjoy the attention and won't feel cornered. A private ask leaves room for "Can I think about it?".
22. For a second or third child
- Budgetfree
- Best forgrowing families
Let the older children ask: "I already have a godmother. My little sister needs one too." It also shows the older kids that their own godparents still count.
Will you be my godparent? Wording to copy
Swap in your own details. Short is fine. What matters is one honest line about why you chose this person.
I'm new here and I'm told I need someone amazing in my corner. Mom and Dad say that's you. Will you be my godmother?
I've heard you're great at bad jokes, good advice and building forts. Will you be my godfather?
We've thought about this a lot, and every time we came back to you. You're kind, honest and you always show up. We'd love you to be [baby's name]'s godparent. Take your time with the answer, and let's talk about what it would mean to you.
We're having [baby's name] baptized on [date] at [church]. We'd be so grateful if you would stand with us as godmother, make the promises with us and help [her/him/them] grow up in faith. Will you be [baby's name]'s godmother?
There won't be a church service, but we still want [baby's name] to have a grown-up who isn't us: someone to call, to visit and to learn from. We can't think of anyone better. Will you be [her/his/their] guideparent?
You've been my big sister forever. Now I'd love you to be something extra for my baby. Will you be [baby's name]'s godmother?
Job opening: godparent. Tasks include spoiling, babysitting now and then and being the cool grown-up. Pay: unlimited hugs and sticky fingers. Only one candidate on the list. Will you be my godfather?
We have a question that we'd rather ask in person, but the ocean is in the way. Would you be [baby's name]'s godparent? Call us when you've read this (any time, we're up anyway).
psst … this makes it easier
Ask the godparent question as a tiny story
Send a link that opens into a short story from the baby: the big question and a letter from you, with a mini quiz first if you like.
- A letter that types itself out, plus an optional quiz about your friendship
- They answer with one tap and send their yes straight back to you
- Free, no account, no tracking in the invite
When to ask and what to tell them
- During pregnancy or after the birth. Both are common. If there will be a baptism, ask a few months before so there's time for church preparation or paperwork.
- Tell them what you hope for. Faith guidance, a lifelong mentor, a fun aunt or uncle figure or all of it. Mention any expectations clearly, like attending the service or birthdays.
- Be honest about the church side. If the person isn't religious and the ceremony is, say so and let them decide if they're comfortable making the promises.
- Don't make gifts a condition. In many families godparents give a christening gift and remember birthdays. That's a tradition, not a duty. Say what you'd like (often just time) so nobody feels pressure.
- Accept a no kindly. Some people say no because they take the role seriously and can't commit. That's an honest answer, not a rejection of your family.
Tip: If you're asking two people, ask them close together, ideally the same day. Nobody should find out from the group chat that the other one has already been asked.
How to choose godparents
A few questions many parents ask themselves:
- Will this person still be around in 10 or 15 years, even if they move?
- Do they share the values you want your child to see, faith or otherwise?
- Would your child be able to talk to them about something they can't tell you?
- Are you choosing them for the child, or to return a favor or keep peace in the family?
If the honest answer to the last question is "a bit of both", that's human. Just make sure at least one godparent is someone you'd pick without any pressure.
More family occasions
Still on the way? See our pregnancy announcement ideas, including how to tell the future grandparents. Planning a wedding too? There are bridesmaid proposal ideas and groomsman proposal ideas with the same kind of wording to copy. Everything else is in the occasions guide.
Frequently asked questions
How do you ask someone to be a godparent?
Pick a calm moment, in person if you can, and ask directly. Many parents hand over a small card or gift from the baby, then explain what the role means for your family and whether there will be a baptism. Tell them they can take a few days to think about it.
Can a non-Catholic be a godparent at a Catholic baptism?
Not as the official godparent. Catholic canon law asks for a confirmed Catholic aged 16 or older who has received Communion. A baptized Christian from another church can stand alongside a Catholic godparent as a Christian witness, so you can still include them.
How many godparents can a child have?
It depends on the church. The Catholic Church allows one godparent or one godmother and one godfather. The Church of England asks for at least three, traditionally two of the same sex as the child and one of the other, though one of each is accepted when three are hard to find. Secular families can choose as many as they like.
Can you have godparents without a christening?
Yes. Many non-religious families choose godparents, guideparents or mentors with no ceremony at all, or mark it at a naming ceremony or a family party. The title has no legal meaning either way, so the role is whatever you agree on together.
Does a godparent become the guardian if something happens to the parents?
No. Being a godparent is a spiritual or personal role, not a legal one. If you want someone to care for your child, name a guardian in your will. That can be the same person, but talk about it separately and honestly.
What do you write in a will you be my godmother card?
Keep it short and warm: why you chose her, what you hope she'll be for your child and the question itself. Writing it in the baby's voice is a popular touch. Add a line that she can take her time with the answer.